5 6 7 Meh.

Not sure how I've been the last few days. Hardcore insomnia. Impulsive eating. Want drink and drugs to make it okay but no. I've been doing wii fit a bit which makes me happy but I'm not losing weight cuz I'm eating way too much.

So here is the plan:

LOSE 20 lbs BY APRIL 
 I don't know how much I weigh right now cuz I haven't weighed myself in a few days but that should take me to about 8.5 st. That's 20 lbs in 12 weeks which is under 2 lbs a week. This is a REALISTIC GOAL. Do it Sass.
 
 

4

COURSEWORK FINISHED ^-^ yayyy.

Feeling good...wanna go out though but nowhere to go. Probs best not to go out that way I won't be tempted to drink or take anything. Had really bad night terrors last night though...stupid brain.

3

Not sure how I feel today. Blitzed half my coursework so I'm less panicky about uni but had a fight with Andy. I still love him so much. I hate being single.

Also I ate too much today...but I'm saying it's okay because I lost 2.4 lbs in a week...although this is much less than the 4.8 I'd lost after the party it's perfectly fine as I'm aiming for a steady weight loss of 2lbs a week =]

2 Narco Dreams

Last night I dreamt I was taking drugs and drinking...and I was really angry at myself in my dream. Craving a bit today...and I've eaten too much and haven't done enough work but still feeling generally good if fat. Wanna eat or go out but no.

Actually gunna start work proper on my law & state coursework tomorrow as well.

1

So I've decided out of vanity and interest that I'm gunna take a photo of myself every day. Then I'll be able to see how my weight fluctuates.

Post NYE party - hate my nose - love my arm and hair.

1 Worth A Shot?

I CAN DO THIS

So did at least 5 different drugs last night at The Shack...most of them legal. And they made me miserable and paranoid. I would have almost certainly had a better night just drunk or sober. The end of the night was good though, have to admit. Anyway, now I feel absolutely amazing. I have to admit, it might just be the drugs but I really feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is the right time to quit. I'm done. I'm free.

I'm going to take other changes slowly but I feel like if I take it one step at a time I can really change my life and become the person I want to be. Even though I'm not quite sure who that is yet. I'm going to try to do lots of new things. My main goal is to get to 8 stone in a healthy way.

All in all I'm feeling very positive. Again, I'll say: I Can Do This. Time to fly.